Sunday, 3 April 2011

‘Spy’ and ‘48 Crash’ by Joe England


Spy
Outside Aldi and I spy two women in trench coats as they wrestle a Labrador into the back of a Mondeo Estate. Dog not happy. They almost chop off its head when patience wears thin and the hatch is slammed closed.
          Then I spy an elderly man also struggling. But not with dog. He has a large sized oblong box. It’s a Zimmer frame. Aldi’s special offer of the day. He really wasn’t walking easily with that box, with the Zimmer frame inside, awaiting assembly. All kindly I go up and say to him, do you want help to unwrap the box and also do the simple assembly so that you can use the walking aid instantly?
          The reaction: box put down, resting against a rack of trolleys, deep breath taken and then fist planted into my face.
          Life is like a river; a river a metaphor for life. Sometimes the journey is smooth and pleasant, gentle ripples, the casual slurping downstream while bathed in sunlight. But when the sky blackens and large rocks inexplicably appear – like the dark above, they have to be negotiated. The inexplicable rocks break up the smooth pathway, splintering the flow of water and then if you’re not careful, before you know what’s happening you’re down a fuckface of a waterfall, but still resolutely happy until you sink down deep into the sand of time below, to rest in peace, forever. To sum up, I definitely think that miserable old cunt must have knocked me out cold.


48 Crash

I hear a voice
it is of a woman
trying to sing
she sounds in distress
and keeps repeating
my name is Suzanne
I want to be a man
in a biker gang
I once had a hit song
called Can the Can

She then goes away
but upon her return
speaks of a
devil gate drive
I think of an ex girlfriends house
but she distracts me further
wants me
to help her
am I really the man
from Venus
who will help her
grow a penis

No, I tell her
I’m definitely not

© Joe England 2011

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